The Mindscape
by Dad of War
Summary: I breathe and I see. I love, and I don't want to love. I trust, and I don't want to trust. Yet, at the same time, I do. [One-shot in which Hachiman dreams.]


I breathe and I see. People wearing white masks and black masks are weaving in and out like stitches in a blanket. The people wearing white masks refuse to touch those who wear black masks while those who wear black masks fear contact with anyone - even those wearing black masks. We are all wandering somewhere aimlessly - the sheer number of people are blocking my view such that I can't make out my surroundings. Nobody is saying a word.

I am the only one without any mask. At least that's what I believe.

And then I feel my face and it feels so ceramic.

* * *

I breathe and I see. I am at a beach with a peach-haired girl, the girl staring at me while the water engulfs her feet. She is five feet away from me - four feet away from the shore. She reaches her hand out to me and calls my name so affectionately - so kindly - so peacefully - but I withdraw.

Her outstretched hand curls up and she begins weeping, and I don't want her to keep on weeping - however I know that if I take her hand, she'll just end up weeping more. Won't she?

Won't she?

* * *

I breathe and I see. I am in the middle of a forest and the green is encroaching and strangling. Light is shining through small gaps in the leaves, planting some specks of white on my skin. I trudge forward because I am on a straight and narrow road - there is no other path except forward or backward. And I feel like I don't want to go backward.

I see a girl with raven hair standing in front of me once I reach ten steps ahead of my original position. She doesn't look at me, her blue eyes focused on the trees and the small glimpse of the sky peeking above her - unobscured by the trees.

She makes me turn back and I retreat back into the fauna, on the side of the road leading away from her.

* * *

I see two tall figures without faces slowly walking away from two tiny figures, one of which is smaller than the other.

The tall figures are slowly drifting away from the tiny figures as the smaller one of the latter group tries pulling them back. The taller one stands by, turning its back to the three of them in what I believe is disgust.

* * *

I breathe and I see. Suddenly I am in a bed, staring up at a white ceiling. Lying next to me is someone with peach hair, and when she opens her eyes and mewls out my name, she pulls me in an embrace. The embrace is soft and it warms my heart, and I feel as if I want to stay in the embrace despite the fact that I know that it won't last.

And I try to deny the fact that I wish it could last longer.

* * *

I breathe and I see. A perpetually starry sky has lights dancing above me, giving me a sight that cannot be replicated by any earthly means. There is a sun and a moon and the sun is causing the moon to melt, yet the moon draws closer and closer to the sun as it melts more and more. The stars crash into the moon and the moon appears like it's being destroyed, yet it continues its path towards the sun and it does not falter.

I feel grass beneath my feet, the dew pressing against my bare toes and soles. The sight of everything going on amazes me, and I take the time to sit down on the grass.

* * *

I breathe and I see. I am in a bed again, staring again at a white ceiling. Above me, there is someone with black hair and she smiles once I dart my eyes over to her. She kisses my forehead after closing her blue eyes and greets me to a new day.

The sun's light envelops the room.

* * *

I see a red-haired girl crying and trying to compose herself while a blonde-haired boy grabs me by the collar and pushes me against the wall, chastising and berating me for something I had done.

I smile at him in the knowledge that he _knows_ I am in the right as two other girls converge on us.

* * *

I breathe and I see.

I am walking on a road. There are no cars and it is evening. I walk and I walk for about three minutes before I feel something streaking down my cheeks.

I immediately start crying and I thrash around in impotent anger and rage, before my knees hit the gravel and I curse myself for something horrendous I had done.

* * *

I breathe and I see.

There is a dark figure alone in a room filled with nothing and emptiness, and every time white figures try to touch the dark figure, the dark figure laughs at them in a demonic voice. They turn away and all the other dark figures become white figures once they come in contact with the original.

The original laughs at them before stopping and leaning against a wall in the emptiness.

* * *

I see a black-haired girl and a peach-haired girl staring at me incredulously, the peach-haired girl with wet eyes. It is sunset. They are both sitting down while I am standing up. I am shaking. My eyes are wet.

Thoughts and memories flood my mind as I struggle to say something. I say the words, "I want...something genuine."

And that is all the room needs to initiate silence.

* * *

I am alone now. In an everlasting darkness.

I am weeping and I don't know why I am weeping.

However, two hands land themselves on my shoulders. Two hands owned by two different people.

These people have peach hair and black hair, respectively, and they smile as they pull me in an embrace.

I don't realize that my tears stop falling before the room turns white.

* * *

I open my eyes, Yuigahama expressing concern for me, saying that I was murmuring things in my sleep.

Yukinoshita notes that my eyes are slightly wet.

I brush them off by saying I was tired, but then admit that I had a dream about them.

They ask me what the dream was about, but I shrug them off and head for the door.

I stop once my hand is on the handle.

I return to my seat and tell them this, first:

"It's a long story..."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I wish the English translation stuck to the original title.**


End file.
